The New Neighbors

We have lived in the same neighborhood for the past 6 years, a small cul-de-sac of only six houses and really nice people. Over the past couple of years, 3 of these houses have changed hands, replaced by a strange, eclectic group of people. I tell you, I don't like it! I want my old, friendly, normal neighbors back. We all liked each other, stopped to talk through our car windows on the street, wandered over to each other's houses if we saw one another outside. Our neighbor, Jeff, next door would offer great advice about lawn care and planting trees or flowers. We went to his daughter's graduation from high school, her wedding two years later and then his son's graduation. We had become family. Then, they decided to build another house closer to the lake much to our dismay.

I knew we were in deep trouble when Jeff began describing the negotiations to sell their home with someone from the East coast. This guy sounded like a troublemaker; a cold, unfriendly, unreasonable dude. I wished for the deal to fall through, but alas, it didn't happen. This family moved in, a dad and his two teenage children. Being the good neighbor that I am, I baked 3 batches of brownies for this family. Why 3 batches? Well, I'm glad you asked. Because, the first batch, a new recipe, Maddie would not even eat. I couldn't serve those. Our dog, Bella, liked them, however. The second batch burned. The 3rd was scrumptious, but when we tried to deliver them, the family was never home. So, I put them in the freezer to be delivered after our return from our vacation to Seattle.

After thawing these yummy, frosted brownies, they sat on my counter for days. This family was never home. I didn't see them outside in the yard...ever! I finally just threw out the brownies and trashed my nice "welcome" card. One day, we saw the two kids next door riding bikes. This was my chance to finally meet them and show them how much I cared. After all, I had heard through the grapevine that their mom was dead. How awful! I could be a loving, nurturing woman next door to be there if they needed me. I had visions of being a second mom to these poor, neglected children until we were introduced. I met one polite 14 year old boy and one invasive, nosy 12 year old girl who has since permanently attached herself to my 6-year-old.

Danielle is over at our house the minute after we drive into the garage, ringing the doorbell for Maddie to ride bikes, play Barbie's or search for our other neighbor's dog wandering the neighborhood (another great story). Why does a teenager want to play with a 1st grader, anyway? She's even borrowed Maddie's Barbie's to give them makeovers. Weird! Danielle is an assertive little girl who's definitely also majoring in manipulation. "Mrs. Stonger, I hope I'm not bothering you guys too much. Tell me if I'm being a pest." Don't worry, I will!

I've been concerned about her influence on Maddie. My goodness, they were downstairs playing with the Barbie's, pretending they were rich and could buy anything they wanted. My overprotective self went into gear. "Whose idea was that, Maddie?" "Danielle's." I'm getting my ammunition ready so I can have a talk with this worldly girl who is influencing my little daughter. "Ok, so whose idea was it to play 'boyfriends' with the Barbie's?" "Mine," pipes Maddie. Darn it...must be the High School Musical 2. Time to cut out Disney shows.

It's interesting to me that this 7th grade girl has not connected with my 8th grade daughter. Alix is sweet, kind and has absolutely nothing in common with Danielle. And, she doesn't play with Barbie's anymore! I'm still trying to figure it all out...the dynamics of these relationships. Maddie, at 6, will play with anyone who gives her the time of day, not to mention that she's home more often than my gymnast, cheerleader daughter. Danielle wants friends; Alix has friends. Then, I discover that Danielle's mom is not deceased but rather is divorced from her dad. And, she's not allowed to have contact with her. This perhaps explains some of Danielle's querks. She is longing for attention and acceptance. Perhaps, she tells me that she doesn't want to be a pest to anybody because she's been told that she is one.

Because of some of Danielle's influence on Maddie, I've had numerous teaching moments with Maddie to "think for yourself." "What does that mean?" she asks me. "It means that if Danielle suggests something, and it is not something mommy and daddy would want you to do, you 'think for yourself' and you tell her you can't do it because it's not right." Believe me, we've already encountered this several times!

I'm truly torn. I want to reach out to this girl that needs to be loved and accepted, but I want my privacy too. My life is too busy to invest into an "egr" (extra-grace required) person. Unfortunately, I believe God is telling me to take the time, invest some love and see what He might do. My nice, little cozy world with my non-needy, hospitable, kind neighbors has been shaken up. While I wouldn't have voted this family into the neighborhood, God surely place them next door for a reason. He is doing something here, and I'm not sure I appreciate it. The message is blaring in my heart loud and clear. "Love your neighbor."