Choosing to Forgive

This past weekend, 14 wild and worn-out women, weaved our way to Nashville, Tennessee to attend a "Deeper Still" conference with teaching by the infamous Beth Moore, Priscilla Evans Shirer and Kay Arthur. The icing on the cake was hearing American Idol singer, Mandisa. She was powerful in song, bold in her testimony, convicting regarding her forgiveness of Simon who openly criticized her weight on national television. It was a testimony of huge proportions to hear Mandisa share that while many had urged her to "let Simon have it" on national television, she chose to forgive him in the presence of millions of viewers. How powerful! How greatly that goes against the grain of what this world teaches humanity to do. While they chant "revenge"; Mandisa shocks the world with three words, "I forgive you".

By letting Simon off her hook and not retaliating, she is not forgetting what He said, but rather she is giving it to God and allowing Him to take care of it. She is choosing not to allow bitterness and resentment to take residence in her heart. I remember watching Simon's face on television the night Mandisa told him that she forgave his offense. He was speechless. The world does not understand this grace of forgiveness. It's a foreign idea to the reigning thought that one should retaliate, seek revenge and "give it to 'em with both barrels". I'm sure Simon fully expected to get his due because this is exactly the kind of stuff that boosts those television ratings. However, what Simon received is not what he deserved; he got grace, the same kind Jesus extended to us when He died on the cross for every past, present and future infraction we would ever commit against Him. It's the same exact forgiveness Christ offered to all of humanity, that none of us deserve.

Mandisa simply did what all of us are called to do as followers of Christ...forgive! Colossians 3:13 states, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." No room for arguments or excuses here. This is a command. God forgives you; you forgive others. Simple words, but difficult to execute. How did Mandisa do this? How do we do this?

At the risk of sounding trite, let me say that we can only do this with God's help. Several years ago, a major offense was committed against me. I had every "right" to be angry, seek revenge and harbor bitter feelings toward the individual who sinned against me according to the world's standards. But being a Christ-follower, I had set aside those so-called "rights" to get even, to be unforgiving, to hang onto my anger. Let me tell you that my choice to forgive this person had nothing to do with my feelings or my forgetting of the offense. Frankly, I was scared to death that if I didn't forgive, my heavenly Father would not forgive me, and I knew that I was the greater offender.

Feelings are fickle at best. I cannot live relying on my feelings which change about a million times throughout the day. Just take my marriage relationship, for example. One minute I'm feeling mushy-gushy just thinking about my husband, but he could walk in late from work, and suddenly I'm hacked off at him. You know what I'm talking about! I'm committed to loving him no matter what I feel about him at any particular moment. Same thing with forgiveness. I didn't feel like forgiving, but as a committed Christian, I chose to extend it regardless. And what about the forgetting aspect? Oh, I haven't forgotten what happened. Somehow, we think that forgiveness means we forget what happened, that the person won't "pay" for what they did to us. Certainly not! It means that we choose not to allow their offenses to enslave us; it means that we are letting them off our hook...but God still holds them accountable for their actions. This gives me so much freedom...freedom from guilt and bitterness and freedom to live the life that Christ has called me to.

I think about Mandisa and how her actions in forgiving Simon shocked a world who is so counterculture to Christ-like values. Oh, that more of us would send mind-blowing messages like this to the people Christ puts in our paths. Just as Christ's forgiveness has transformed our lives; may the forgiveness we offer our family and friends draw them to the Christ whom we claim to belong!