Musings in Which I Admit I Am Old and Don't Understand the Thrill of Texting

Recently, I turned the ripe old age of 44; I'm not afraid to admit it. The problem is that I find myself saying more frequently these days phrases like, "I just don't understand these little whipper snappers anymore...why back in my day, we never had (fill in the blank here). In fact, we had to walk 6 miles in the snow barefoot in Southern California." (Actually, that last line isn't true. My dad used to tell us little chitlins that a million years ago.)

What I'm talking about here is this texting thing...you know, with the cell phones? Whatever happened to dialing a number and talking personally to someone? I know that texting can be advantageous when a person simply needs to relay a quick message to someone. For example, I've been known to text a child or two, "What r u doing? B home @ 6. C u soon. Luv u!" (I must tell you that typing abbreviations like this go against my former English teacher brain, but I've succumbed.) Something like this usually takes me 15 minutes with several "clears" in the process to get the right number or letter since I frequently zip over it. My teens can text this same message underneath a desk...say...at school (aghast), never even peering at the screen or buttons they are pushing. Before you think I am poo-pooing the whole texting thing, I'm not...I just don't get it yet.

Back in my day (there I go again), we relished hearing another person's voice. I spent hours (before my mom kicked me off the phone) talking to friends via wall phone, held captive by a cord with a radius of about 6 feet. My attention was undivided except for Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island reruns. I wasn't even glued to a textbook. Texting is just so impersonal inspite of the multi-tasking opportunities it affords cell phone carriers. My kids can watch tv, do homework, check Facebook AND text at the same exact time. Our house abounds with the sounds of vibrating text alerts every two minutes or so.

What astounds me most is that my children can actually carry on an entire 2 hour conversation by text that I could accomplish in a 15 minute phone conversation. Is this screaming "time waster" to you too? I remember in particular one day that my husband texted me from work asking me what I was doing...what the plan was for the evening. I began to text a reply, nixed that idiotic, time-consuming idea and promptly dialed his cell phone number. Much, much faster in my estimation. My personal unasked for, unwanted opinion is that texting is perfect for relaying easy, SHORT messages to people who can't be disturbed by a phone call and to whom you need to get emergency information. Otherwise, pick up the phone and dial my number...or email me because I can return the reply much faster.

When I was a teen, my phone conversations were limited. I realize that this is difficult to believe for many, but I seemed to run off at the mouth a lot of the time, so my parents set boundaries for me. Well, this just isn't a problem in my household, so I've been in a state of confusion about how to set limits on this texting phenomenon. I WISH I could say to my children, "You've been on the phone for an hour; time to hang up now." Well, I guess I could say that about my 7-year-old since she'll talk to anyone on the phone, including a telemarketer. Alix, my 14-year-old doesn't take after "moi", Miss Chatty Cathy of the 80's. In fact, she despises talking on the phone. I've even been forced to teach proper phone etiquette to her. No, I'm not referring to the "who may I say is calling" phrase before handing the phone over; I'm talking about simply being "nice" to her own friends when they call and not appearing particularly perturbed that they've interrupted whatever it is that she was doing. Texting is the ultimate way to have a conversation for a person like Alix who can do a multitude of other things while at the same time keeping up with her friends.

The problem is...how does one set boundaries on texting when the conversation never stops? I haven't quite discovered the answer, but I'm working on it and asking a lot of other parents questions about how they handle it. A couple of rules we set on vacation were:
1. Texting can occur while driving the 10 hours to and from D.C.
2. Once we arrive to our destination, texting can occur in the morning before leaving the hotel and after we return at night.
3. No texting allowed while sightseeing, during meals, etc.

Since then, we've set a few guidelines for home:
1. No texting during mealtimes.
2. No texting while doing homework because it takes twice as long to get homework done and is definitely distracting.
3. No texting once it's bedtime. (This is a new one which requires one of my darling children to recharge his/her phone in the living room as to avoid temptation.)
4. No texting during family outings/events.

I'm sure that once the Drama Queen herself is a teenager, technology will be completely different, and I'll have to relearn everything again. In the meantime, I'm reliving the good old days, reminiscing about the times an old-fashioned phone conversation was all the buzz and relishing the new-fangled technology of cordless telephones. That's really all I need to be happy...besides a friend on the other end!