A few nights ago I asked my husband to pray over me in preparation for our first day of our Roof-Crasher's Bible study since I was a little anxious about being one of the teachers for the Sacred Marriage study. Even though I have been happily re-married now for almost 8 years, I experienced a heart-wrenching divorce 9 years ago which has caused me to doubt at times my worthiness at leading any class much less one on marriage. Let's just say, the accuser assails negative thoughts my direction like..."what do you have to offer...you couldn't even stay married", and "people will not listen to what you have to say because of your track record" and "how can a divorced woman teach a marriage class?"
Now I know that God is not saying that I am worthless, useless and have nothing to offer. I realize that He has made beauty from the ashes of my life, and that He can use my brokenness to help someone else. But, Satan doesn't want ME to get it. He will do anything to get believers to disbelieve Christ's redeeming work in our lives and basically, to quit! Because I had these nagging thoughts plaguing me, I asked Tony to pray for me. He did and as we began to talk after his prayer, I started sharing my fears again. Basically, he shushed me, "Annette, we prayed about it. It's taken care of. God will be with you. Those thoughts are not true." I was speechless at his uncharacteristic bluntness, which if you know me, happens once in a blue moon. His words shut me up which stopped the negativity from flowing.
The following morning I was up earlier than normal to spend some time praying for the women that would come, for our leaders and for me, of course. Then, I asked God to speak to me and when I opened my One Year Bible to read the day before's portion since I was already a day behind, guess what? God spoke to me clearly through these verses in Proverbs:
"My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
The last two sentences in this portion, Proverbs 3:5-6, were the verses I clung to while going through my divorce, becoming a single parent and learning to trust God through all my uncertain days ahead. I already thought I had this trust thing down because of all I had experienced in the past. God was reminding me again...trust ME with ALL your heart. The word "all" leaped off the page. Was I reserving part of my heart back from Him? Did I only want to trust him with certain portions? Was I not trusting Him to be with me after I had just asked Him to? Since God called me to this moment, wouldn't He fully equip me for the task?
Fear and doubt of my inadequacy to teach was replaced with a renewed trust in the complete adequacy of my Savior who redeemed my past and called me to be part of this teaching team. This was completely confirmed after each of us gave our introductions to the class. Open about my past, I shared about my previous divorce, my belief that God's plan is indeed for couples to stay married and how God beautifully and graciously allowed me a second chance at marriage with a wonderful man.
I half expected disappointed looks and maybe even a class exodus! Instead, during our small group time one woman with tears swelling talked about her own previous divorce and subsequent re-marriage. God perfectly placed her in my group for a reason, and He has once again shown me that my life, my past and my lessons learned have a purpose that He will carry out if I will simply trust Him.
No matter where you've been, what mistakes you have made, how much you've disobeyed, God can forgive you and free you to be used for His glory and fame. Even when we find ourselves experiencing suffering because of another's poor decisions, God can use our pain to bring encouragement and hope to those we encounter. It's a matter of listening to and trusting in the One who ransoms our pasts for our freedom...and shutting up old slewfoot who dredges up our pasts for our destruction. Who will you bend your ear to?
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Friday, January 11, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
The Boys are Back in Town (well, almost)
Tonight is THE night...the night when my boys get back in town. Sounds almost like a song, doesn't it? We three girls have been livin' it up...stayin' up late, gettin' up late and eating all microwavable food. It's been great for the last 8 days, but I'm ready for my man to get back.
It'll be nice to get back to two sleeping in a king-size bed. I know that a couple of blogs ago I said that I was NOT sleeping with both of my girls in that bed anymore, but you know, I'm really a softie and couldn't bear the thought of one of them sleeping clear at the other end of the house. Let me tell you, it can be a long, scary walk in the middle of the night if you need momma. Alas, I caved in, and we've been sleeping together all week ~ except for the night Alix had 3 of her friends spend the night and slept downstairs. I use the word "sleep" loosely since they finally crashed at 4 am.
Still, even after we painted Alix' room and redecorated, that 13-year-old girl wanted to hang out in mom's room. Since I'm not sure how long that will last, I welcome every opportunity to have her sleep in my bed with me. Whatever her reasons, not wanting to be the lone person snoozing at the other side of the house or her bed still piled high with knick knacks to be sorted, I don't care! She still wants to be with me! And, Maddie? Well, she's practically glued to me, so I don't think I could pry her away.
It's the end of the all girl party and back to the co-ed family that we are. It's also back to school, schedules and arising at 6:30 am (oh, joy)! It's back to cooking real food that is actually healthy. While I am not excited about any of that stuff, I am elated to see my hubby and son. I know they have much to relate regarding their adventure in Guatemala. They've taken zillions of pictures of children which I plan to share in one of my blogs.
We girls have had an important role in their trip south...we've been praying. Every night we've prayed that they would have an impact there, that they would connect with these children, that their hearts would be moved, that God would speak specifically to their hearts what He wants them to know, that they would be changed. So, I can hardly wait to hear what God has done in their lives and the lives of those Guatemalans because of Tony's and Nick's sacrifice to go to a place out of their comfort zones.
Until then...I must post this excerpt and get my children movin' in the direction of their OWN beds tonight. Night, night!
It'll be nice to get back to two sleeping in a king-size bed. I know that a couple of blogs ago I said that I was NOT sleeping with both of my girls in that bed anymore, but you know, I'm really a softie and couldn't bear the thought of one of them sleeping clear at the other end of the house. Let me tell you, it can be a long, scary walk in the middle of the night if you need momma. Alas, I caved in, and we've been sleeping together all week ~ except for the night Alix had 3 of her friends spend the night and slept downstairs. I use the word "sleep" loosely since they finally crashed at 4 am.
Still, even after we painted Alix' room and redecorated, that 13-year-old girl wanted to hang out in mom's room. Since I'm not sure how long that will last, I welcome every opportunity to have her sleep in my bed with me. Whatever her reasons, not wanting to be the lone person snoozing at the other side of the house or her bed still piled high with knick knacks to be sorted, I don't care! She still wants to be with me! And, Maddie? Well, she's practically glued to me, so I don't think I could pry her away.
It's the end of the all girl party and back to the co-ed family that we are. It's also back to school, schedules and arising at 6:30 am (oh, joy)! It's back to cooking real food that is actually healthy. While I am not excited about any of that stuff, I am elated to see my hubby and son. I know they have much to relate regarding their adventure in Guatemala. They've taken zillions of pictures of children which I plan to share in one of my blogs.
We girls have had an important role in their trip south...we've been praying. Every night we've prayed that they would have an impact there, that they would connect with these children, that their hearts would be moved, that God would speak specifically to their hearts what He wants them to know, that they would be changed. So, I can hardly wait to hear what God has done in their lives and the lives of those Guatemalans because of Tony's and Nick's sacrifice to go to a place out of their comfort zones.
Until then...I must post this excerpt and get my children movin' in the direction of their OWN beds tonight. Night, night!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas Festivities, Day 1
Our Christmas celebration began Friday evening, lasting for 5 days! We enjoyed feasting at Applebee's compliments of Great Grandma's gift card. Somehow during that meal, Santa and his reindeer landed early at our house, dumping our stockings full of presents. How could he possibly know that Nick and Alix were leaving for California before dawn even breaks the next morning? He is so smart! There were even gifts in my stocking which is extremely uncharacteristic of Santa. Most years I help Santa with filling my beautiful sock because he's not quite on the ball. However, this year he surprised me! I just love my Santa baby...
Before we commenced with opening gifts, we planned to read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Maddie became a little confused as evidenced by the beginning of her version of the story, "It was the night before Christmas and all through the house..."
Nick, playing Santa, passed gifts to each person one by one until Alix took over his job, not satisfied with his organizational skills! There was a lot of oohing and ahhing over the gifts, hugs and kisses and Maddie hovering like a bee with a flower over whomever happened to have a gift she could assist them in opening. Each of us kept shooing the bee away, but it kept returning. The big gifts this year were a karaoke machine for Maddie, a digital camera for Alix and the big tamale Wii for Nick. That Nick had a Wii to open is a miracle story.
The Wii, like its cousins the XBox and Playstation, have been in such great demand that fanatics had been resorting to waiting in long lines for hours and even spending frigid nights outdoors just to "maybe" obtain one of these. Tony and I waited in one line the day after Thanksgiving at 7 am in hopes of purchasing the "Wii". I guess we should have brought our sleeping bags and spent the night! With 14 left at Gamestop and holding our place in line at number 16, we were doomed to be disappointed, yet we still waited "just in case". We tried Target, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart. I prayed a silly little prayer, "God, I know this is pretty trivial, but I also know that you care about the little things in our lives. All Nick wants is a Wii. Please help us find one." Sappy, I know. Even a little weird.
But, you are not going to believe what happened. I knew how God was going to answer this. He was going to allow me to be at the right place at the right time. As Christmas drew closer, I began to come up with other alternatives in case we didn't get one of these coveted items. We'll just wrap a picture of a "Wii" in a box, give it to Nick and tell him we'll get one after Christmas. This was plan B. I never had to carry out this plan because of how God orchestrated the next events. A friend of mine was also looking for this game. We had made a pact that if one of us ever came across two Wii's, we buy them both and settle up with each other later. Nope, that is not how we obtained our Wii! Actually, another friend, not even remotely desirous of this grand gift, was standing at the return counter at Target when another woman returned two Wii's. My friend, thinking they were just possibly games, enquired about them. When she discovered that they were in fact the official "Wii's", she asked, "Well, can I buy them?" After the clerk answered affirmatively, she purchased them, quickly toted them to her car and promptly called me, telling me what she had done.
To call me ecstatic would be an understatement. While traveling to Hobby Lobby to exchange money for the "gift", I called my husband, my mom and anyone who cared about this amazing answer to prayer. It certainly was not the way I had planned it to happen, but God always works in mysterious ways and usually not according to how I have it all worked out. God used a friend to answer my prayer.
Before we commenced with opening gifts, we planned to read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Maddie became a little confused as evidenced by the beginning of her version of the story, "It was the night before Christmas and all through the house..."
Nick, playing Santa, passed gifts to each person one by one until Alix took over his job, not satisfied with his organizational skills! There was a lot of oohing and ahhing over the gifts, hugs and kisses and Maddie hovering like a bee with a flower over whomever happened to have a gift she could assist them in opening. Each of us kept shooing the bee away, but it kept returning. The big gifts this year were a karaoke machine for Maddie, a digital camera for Alix and the big tamale Wii for Nick. That Nick had a Wii to open is a miracle story.
The Wii, like its cousins the XBox and Playstation, have been in such great demand that fanatics had been resorting to waiting in long lines for hours and even spending frigid nights outdoors just to "maybe" obtain one of these. Tony and I waited in one line the day after Thanksgiving at 7 am in hopes of purchasing the "Wii". I guess we should have brought our sleeping bags and spent the night! With 14 left at Gamestop and holding our place in line at number 16, we were doomed to be disappointed, yet we still waited "just in case". We tried Target, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart. I prayed a silly little prayer, "God, I know this is pretty trivial, but I also know that you care about the little things in our lives. All Nick wants is a Wii. Please help us find one." Sappy, I know. Even a little weird.
But, you are not going to believe what happened. I knew how God was going to answer this. He was going to allow me to be at the right place at the right time. As Christmas drew closer, I began to come up with other alternatives in case we didn't get one of these coveted items. We'll just wrap a picture of a "Wii" in a box, give it to Nick and tell him we'll get one after Christmas. This was plan B. I never had to carry out this plan because of how God orchestrated the next events. A friend of mine was also looking for this game. We had made a pact that if one of us ever came across two Wii's, we buy them both and settle up with each other later. Nope, that is not how we obtained our Wii! Actually, another friend, not even remotely desirous of this grand gift, was standing at the return counter at Target when another woman returned two Wii's. My friend, thinking they were just possibly games, enquired about them. When she discovered that they were in fact the official "Wii's", she asked, "Well, can I buy them?" After the clerk answered affirmatively, she purchased them, quickly toted them to her car and promptly called me, telling me what she had done.
To call me ecstatic would be an understatement. While traveling to Hobby Lobby to exchange money for the "gift", I called my husband, my mom and anyone who cared about this amazing answer to prayer. It certainly was not the way I had planned it to happen, but God always works in mysterious ways and usually not according to how I have it all worked out. God used a friend to answer my prayer.
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