Ordinary Days

My blogging days have been sparse to say the least. With school out, well, dang it all...if that doesn't put a cramp in my ability to post. Then there's those blasted trips out of state that'll seriously dampen one's blogginess. Some of my friends are fortunate to own a laptop and therefore, they can simply sit in their house by the beach, mountains or hotel room and type away. Still, I wonder how much relaxation that can be. "Sorry, honey, can't walk on the beach right now, I've got to blog." I wonder how frustrating that might be for familial relationships. I'm just thinkin' that my hubby wouldn't take too kindly to me saying I couldn't hang out with the fam because I must be about my bloggy business. Just a thought. Guess I'm glad I don't have a laptop. I'd hate to allow my blessed computer time trump my real life relationships.

Perhaps that's another reason my posts have been so few and far between. I've been out living life with flesh and blood folks. Oh yeah, and running children to summer activities. As my cell phone message says if you call and leave a message, "I'm out gallivanting around right now..." Not only that, I've been vacationing forever it seems. Well, according to my husband it was forever since he didn't fly with me to visit my family in Washington state. He had to stay home with our son, Nick...not because Nick needed a babysitter, but just because hubby couldn't take the time off from work.

To him, it was an agonizing nine days without me. To me it was a meager eight days...nine if you count the day spent flying home. I choose not to count that. He missed me immensely. I missed him too, but well, hmmmm, how do I say this without sounding cold-hearted? I love my hubby; I always miss my hubby, but in light of spending time with my family, enjoying conversation and catching up with my brother's and sister's families, I'm thinking I didn't miss him, miss him if you catch my drift. So, when he was hugging me after we reunited at the airport, telling me he missed me and loved me, my little, squeaky, "I missed you, too," sounded totally false.

That's not all. Truthfully, I wasn't ready to leave my family. I know that all good things must come to an end, but why? I absolutely love and treasure my family. We all get along, including the out-laws! The cousins love playing together. Amazingly, I don't believe one squabble erupted amongst them. How can anyone fight hanging out at grandma and grandpa's lake house? The 4th of July is spent around a bonfire roasting marshmallows for s'mores, singing patriotic songs and blowing up the lake, aka lighting off fireworks. We talk and talk and talk s'more. In fact, I'm pretty sure I used up my allotment of words each day and then some. My dad specifically told me that he overused his words. He probably had to take a couple of days rest from talking after I left. Sorry, Mom!

We also celebrated birthdays in big fashion. To those on the outside, we probably seem heartless and cruel in the way that we poke fun at our relatives. We royally roast our relatives so that they know they are specially loved. Three momentous birthdays occurred this year, and because we all live far enough away not to be able to join together on those days, we do our dirty work during our annual visit. With Mom turning 65 this past February, and my brother and his wife hitting the big 4-0, there was no escaping this rite of passage. My sister, aka "the creative writer genius", composed three songs in less than 5 hours during her trip over the mountain from Spokane. She always gets any skit-writing/song-writing gigs by default because she knows...a. that anything I would come up with would be lame (and I agree), and b. that anything Toby would come up with would be less lame, but still not creative enough. With two full-time careers and finishing up her M.B.A., Tricia works great under pressure...so we siblings felt absolutely no guilt giving her this task. She's always up for a challenge. Might I say that once again she was absolutely brilliant. With the lake as our backdrop, we dudes and divas crooned Tricia's creative words to the music of the karaoke machine. While no one chanted for an encore, the uproarious laughter and deafening applause caused us to consider perhaps taking our show on the road. Beware Partridge Family: you may be overshadowed by the Weston Family Singers.

Alas, as I said before, all good things must come to an end...and they did. Is there any wonder that I had difficulty re-entering real life? Back to routine, laundry, cooking, carpooling...ugh! I admit it. I was in a bad, bad place when I returned. No, I didn't need to be committed, but I had an Attitude with a capital "A". Topping it off were the things that did not get done while I was gone. I'm not mentioning any names, but apparently when momma leaves, life stops. I was awfully quiet and on the verge of hysterical crying, but I managed to contain myself and for once, keep my flippin' trap shut! This is good. You see, I knew that I was not in a good place in my mind and that I had a stinkin' attitude. My feelings were a jumbled mess and frankly, I needed to sort some things out before I started pointing my finger and naming names and their sins against me. What kinds of unrealistic expectations had I set up? What was so awful about the items on my list not getting crossed off that was causing the world to end? I just needed to get over myself. So, today (for once) I am pleased with myself. Every time Tony asked to 'talk about' what was bothering me, I said, "No." Now this isn't the "nothing's wrong" syndrome I don on occasion. Basically, I needed to figure it all out in my mind and determine if there was truly anything valid to say...otherwise I knew stuff would spew, and it wouldn't be pretty!

So, there you have it, beauty of celebration with family and ugliness of self all in one post. I'm back to ordinary days of life...filled with husbands and kids and dirty laundry and fixing meals. These ordinary days of life include celebrating birthdays with wonderful friends, as I did today, as well as rushing off to carpool girls to gymnastics. Most of these days are not wildly exciting, but that's okay. I know that even in these ordinary days, I have purpose even if it doesn't seem very grand or important. In God's eyes, it is important; my ordinary days do have value. I love what I read this morning from Nancy Ortberg's book, Looking for God that confirms this thought.

"Ordinary gives us a sense of purpose even in the mundane, a kind of freedom that releases us from the need to be important--a need that can weigh us down and sink us into our own pitiful selves. Ordinary gives a peace and joy and centeredness that turns us toward God and builds him deep inside of us."

"I wonder if we miss him sometimes because we miss how often the ordinary shows up--and the fact that God is there also."

Ordinary defines most of my days. I pray that I see God in all the ordinariness of doing laundry, feeding my family, spending time with my husband and children, meeting with friends and driving the kids' activities circuit. Whether or not my name is ever in the spotlight, God has given me a purpose to fulfill within my own family. It certainly has its many mundane moments, moments in which I question my value and whether something greater might be "out there" for me. Still, I know in my heart of hearts that this job he has called me to for right now is grander and more important than anything I could achieve for myself. And, this job of being solely a wife and mom in ordinary, sometimes bland days is more challenging and requires more focus on my Savior than anything I have ever done. I will keep looking for God to show up in my ordinary days of my ordinary life!

A Love Worth Celebrating

Not everyone loves Valentine's Day. For many who are single or in unhappy relationships, this day is not on their top ten list of holidays to celebrate. At one point, I was in that same boat...before Mr. Pancake Man entered my life! He's brought joy, laughter and fun, obviously. Even more, this love of my life is my best friend with whom I share everything...my joys, my sorrows and my longings.

Things I love about my man:

1. He loves me for who I am, flaws and all (and I have many).

2. He loves to hang out with me (even just sitting on the couch to watch the Colts or IU play).

3. He loves all our kids (including his two stepkids). Oh, I admire him so much on this one!!

4. He loves his Savior and is constantly working on being a better man of God. There's nothing better than seeing him reading his Bible!

5. He loves to travel.

6. He looks good in a tank top (I know that's more shallow, but he is one good-lookin' hunk).

7. He plays on my blondeness often (this isn't difficult to do).

8. He cries with me during movies. (what a manly thing to do.)

9. He cares about what I think about everything (and I mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.)

10.He's always happy to see me at the end of the day!

Most days I count my blessings at having this unbelievable man in my life. That may sound incredibly sappy, but you'd have to know my history...you know, BEFORE Tony and AFTER Tony. For many years, I was so envious of other couple's relationships. They had something I didn't have and longed for. When God brought Tony into my life, I experienced true love beyond what I ever imagined. In fact, I remember one day asking my mom if she saw any red flags to please tell me. "No, Annette, he's your soulmate," she responded. Wow. That was so big to me coming from my mother.

(Niagara Falls)

Sure, we argue. Yes, we don't always agree. Many times I do get aggravated when he leaves the jelly jar out or forgets to tell me that he has a meeting and won't be home until late. But, in the big scheme of things...our love and commitment to one another...those things don't matter a hill of beans. He tells me every day how much he loves me and often says to the kids, "Isn't your mother beautiful?" To which they roll their eyes and murmur, "Whatever." If I happen to be cooking, he's always complimentary. When I try new recipes that he's not fond of, he gently asks, "Do you like this?" The kids just gripe and say, "Oooo, what is this? Have we eaten it before?" I would honestly have to say that he is much nicer than I am.

So on this lovey dovey (mmm...makes me think of dove dark chocolate) day, I celebrate my wonderful, crazy Mr. Pancake Man who loves me inspite of myself!

A Little Anecdote or Two

Anecdote 1
A couple of weeks ago I noticed a towel placed underneath our silk ficus tree. "What's that towel doing under the silk tree, Tony?" "Oh, Maddie tried to water it."

Anecdote 2
Maddie came home from school on the last Friday before Christmas break, saw me vacuuming her room and asked me to turn it off because she had something exciting to tell me. I, not wanting to break my cleaning rhythm, asked her to tell me with the vacuum running. "Look what I got!" she said showing me a tube of mini M&M's. "I won all the tests today!" It seems she's confused between taking tests and "earning" a good grade and "winning" something.

Anecdote 3
Tony and I were ordering food at a deli in town when he asked about the soups. He settled on the Chicken Tortilla soup, then promptly asked the server if it contained any meat. I looked at Tony, saying, "Yeah, it has 'chicken' in it." I guess it had been a stressful day for him, and it was too much for him to grasp. I'm wondering if he's been coloring his hair dark to cover up the blonde. I'm so glad that I have someone I can relate to in my family besides my daughter, Alix.

Interesting Conversations

Don't you love Thanksgiving? It is the only holiday in which presents are not a concern, although Maddie did ask last night when we were going to open presents. She expressed huge disappointment that we do not actually open presents on Thanksgiving. Actually, the reverse is true. We give gifts of gratitude to our Savior instead!

Anyway, earlier this week I had an illuminating dialogue with Tony regarding "shopping". After all, we all know that the day after Thanksgiving is an extremely important day for people like me who are freakish enough to venture out into the maddening craziness and overwhelming lines of other freaks waiting to buy stuff our kids don't need for Christmas all in the name of saving money. I happen to enjoy doing this. As we were conversing, I explained the schedule for the day. After perusing the sales ads on Thanksgiving and determining which deals were worth awaking at 4 am, driving half asleep to the store and fighting other crazies over, we would then perhaps make our way to better shopping in Indianapolis if necessary. We would be gone until late. The kids would be cranky and dragging by the end of the day, but who cares. After all, we are saving money by doing this. I further declared that Saturday would be the official "Decorate the Tree and House" day.

Imagine my shock when my husband responds, "Why don't we put the tree up Friday when we get home?"

Me: "No, that won't work because we won't be home until late. We'll be too tired."

Tony: "Well, what you're talking about doing is only going to take a matter of a couple of hours."

Me: "What, are you kidding? No way. Shopping is more than looking in stores. It's an entire experience. You shop, you take a break for coffee, you shop, you have a snack, you shop, you eat lunch, etc. This is going to take all day. We're putting the tree up Saturday."

End of discussion. Bottom line: he may stay home. I warned him that I wasn't putting up with any cranky attitudes.

Fast forward two days to the next conversation...Maddie is discussing the trials she is having with another little girl in her classroom over a boy named Seth. They both like him, and she is troubled by this. "Mom, we both want him." Want? Want him for what? I'm a little concerned about this girl.

5 minutes later...Maddie is supposed to be brushing her teeth in the bathroom but comes back to me in the kitchen to relay an important revelation.

Maddie: "Mom, I don't like "saxy" (translation: sexy). " I tell you, we've got problems here.

Me: "Do you mean "sexy"? Do know what that means?"

Maddie: "You know, when girls try to be "saxy" (she's still saying it like this) and wear "saxy" clothes." She then goes through the charade of showing me she's talking about short sleeve shirts and even shirts that come off the shoulders.

Me: "Boys like girls who are pretty inside...like kind and loving."

Maddie: "Yes, I know mom. That's why I said in the bathroom that I don't want to be "saxy"."

I hope she's still saying that when she's 16. Somehow, I doubt it. I think we'll be locking her up.

Don't Get Caught Sleeping!

Last night, Maddie enjoyed some daddy and me time while the rest of the family was at various activities. They watched the thunderstorm on the deck while Maddie danced around in her bathing suit. They ate dinner together and read Bible stories. T-h-e-n, they played Yahtzee, Maddie's new favorite fun game. A curious phenomenon happened...Daddy fell asleep in the middle of playing the game. I'm told this occurred while Maddie was attempting to add her score on the dice. I asked Tony, "How can you fall asleep playing a game?" While Maddie is prodding her dad to "wake up", he responds by telling her that he's going to need a catnap after Yahtzee is over. Yeah, like he didn't just get one.

My husband has some serious sleep issues. This is a guy who awakens at 4 am and can't beg, borrow or steal sleep, which contributes to his catnapping throughout the day. Thus, he's been caught with his eyes shut in the middle of reading to his daughter, occasionally at work and while I am conversing with him (actually it's more of a one-way conversation). I have taken offense to this numerous times although Tony assures me that my voice is just so soothing that his eyes close. Yeah, right! That's just his nice way of saying that I'm boring! Ok, so perhaps I can believe that I might occasionally 'cause a person's eyes to glaze over, but at least I haven't caused the death of someone by my talking on and on as Paul did when Eutychus snoozed during Paul's sermon and fell out a 3rd story window.

Anyhoo, I'm still quite amazed at this Yahtzee sleep tale. Picture with me: Maddie shaking her dice in the red cup, quite loudly, spilling it out onto the table, quite loudly, and Tony sawing logs in the chair beside her. Picture again: Silence, absolute quiet, no disturbances and insomnia at 4 am. Absolute conundrum.