The Girl With the Indoor Blood-Curdling Scream

Fourteen years ago today, Alix graced our lives with her presence. What a beautiful little girl she was with a full head of dark hair that jetted straight up all over. She's still all that today except for trading in that dark stuff for an incredible amount of thick gorgeous blond laying down her back. She has the kind of hair people wish they were born with, even me!

If I thought my first born was a dream baby, Alix was a phenomenon. She slept through the night at 5 weeks old, soothed herself with her thumb at just weeks old and when she was old enough walk, never wandered from my side when shopping. In fact, she didn't even care about walking until about 15 months old. Alix learned at a very young age to content herself with letting Nick talk for her. Even when people she knew fairly well asked her questions, she looked to Nick to supply the answers...and he was completely willing to comply. Her thumb was her most treasured asset and went instantaneously into her mouth whenever Alix was presented with an uncomfortable situation.

None of my children are quiet children. All of them had one volume early on...LOUD. My brother-in-law, Steve, used to tell Alix, "Indoor blood-curdling scream, Alix" because he thought she was so loud...until he had his own child. He has since recanted and apologized. My children's loudness was accentuated by my brother's children unusually quiet voices. Their normal voices were whispers compared to the blaring sirens blasting out of my children. Alix still has a voice that carries over mountains and prairies. The more excited she gets; the louder the volume. Consequently, she gets shushed often even now.

While Alix swished down the aisle in a beautiful white dress when Tony and I were married, she is far from that princess girl today. Somewhere down the line, she traded in dresses for t-shirts and playing make-up and dolls for competitive gymnastics. At one point, she attempted to convince me that she was a tomboy to which I had to disagree. She has always been more of an "inside" girl than an "outside" girl. She would spend hours cloistered in her room reading to her make believe class or conversing with imaginary friends. She was equally content with or without friends by her side. She disliked playing outside in the snow; it was way too cold. No, she is not a tomboy!

While Alix' volume is loud, she is my most quiet child. That may sound confusing, but what I mean by that is she keeps her emotions and feelings to herself. Alix rarely expresses what she is thinking which is challenging to a person like me, who lays it all out there whether you want it or not. Our conversations occasionally happen like this:

Me: Alix, how was your day?

Alix: Good

Me: What did you do at school?

Alix: Not much

OR

Me: What did you talk about in Sunday School?

Alix: I don't remember

Me: Surely you remember something. It was just an hour ago.

Alix: I think it was something about trust

Me: What about trust?

Alix: I'm not sure

This is frustrating for someone like me who enjoys sharing, talking and giving my opinion whether one asks for it or not. Alix is not one to offer ANY information, so I've resorted to obtaining information from her best friend's mom (who tells her mom EVERYTHING). And, I ask my daughter a lot of questions about her life. At first, she was a little peeved about this, but after a discussion about trust and parents needing to know what's going on in their daughter's life and TRUST and not getting to do anything if we don't know who her friends are and where she's going and what she's doing and TRUST...well, she began to get the picture.

(Alix and her friend getting baptized.)

While Alix is not openly expressive with her feelings or a crybaby like me, she is extremely compassionate. While she doesn't easily cry during a sad movie, she sheds tears for others who are suffering or in pain. She hates it when others feel bad or are sad. And, although she's not a huggy or affectionate person, she always inquires about each family member if they are not home. She cares deeply about family, yet she's not overly demonstrative. I remember having to teach her early on that she should hug her parents good night rather than just disappear into her bedroom. She begrudgingly did it by backing into a hug. With her, forward hugs must not last more than a second or she is squirming out of them!

Alix (on the right) and her best friend, cheerleading

Alix has been a competitive gymnast since 4th grade and for the last two years gave cheerleading a try. While Alix is a social queen, she is not a drama queen (that would be our 7 year old). Thus, she is retiring from cheerleading, citing petty girl drama as the culprit. She loves all her friends and became nauseated at the backbiting and the general "mean girl" syndrome of some her teammates. Besides, she decided that it is definitely more fun competing in a sport than cheering for someone else's sport. Still, hands down, she was the best tumbler of the group, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. Oh, and let's just say EVERYONE could hear her cheering. Remember? Her volume is loud!

I've mentioned before in previous posts that Alix has inherited the airhead gene from me. She also is in her own little, Alix world quite often. It's often amazing to me that our family can be carrying on a conversation at dinner, and Alix is completely oblivious. She's got her own thing going on in her mind, and it never fails that she'll spout something out loud that has NOTHING to do with what the rest of us are discussing. We always get a good laugh at her expense!

Alix is truly one amazing girl. She's a straight A student with a blond brain to boot, highly self-disciplined, self-motivated girl in sports and school and sweet personality that desires to please others. Her social life is busy; her boyfriends last for two weeks; her stubbornness is like a mule! Her laugh is contagious and fun; her loyalty to her friends is admirable; her values and morality stand firm and independent of her peers. As a parent, I've learned much from having a daughter like Alix. While she's not like me in so many ways, I've grown to appreciate her personality.

Many times I've wondered if something was wrong with her because of her inability or lack of desire to express her feelings. After all, doesn't EVERYBODY want to share their every thought, feeling and opinion like me? That's what girls do, right? I've learned differently over these 14 years. My mom and sister have had a lot to do with my education on this matter. My younger sister happens to be much like Alix. Imagine having a talkative, emotional, opinionated, tell-all daughter (me) and when second born sissy comes along, she's LOUD, her voice carries, BUT she reveals no details about her personal life, keeps her opinions to herself and doesn't express her emotions to everyone. So my mom thought something was wrong with her. Over time and with my dad's help, she discovered that nothing was wrong; she was just a different person than I was...and it was ok! I remember asking my sister for advice many years ago when I was trying to process having a daughter not excited to tell me everything going on in her brain, and Tricia said, "You know what I wished mom would've done?" "No, I don't," I replied. "I just wanted her to leave me alone." Oh. Ok. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess what I've realized is that just because Alix is not telling me all doesn't mean that anything is horribly wrong. She just doesn't NEED to express it all.

And, since Alix is obedient, loves God and doesn't have a rebellious attitude, I suppose it's perfectly fine if she's not a carbon copy of her mom. And, everybody said, "Thank the Good Lord above for that!" Happy birthday to my sweet baby girl!