Confessions From a Former Shopoholic

I am a former shopoholic. Up until a few years ago, shopping was one of my favorite pastimes. Whether simply browsing or partaking in some serious purchasing, visiting the mall belonged near the top of my top ten list of “Favorite Activities”. I didn’t desire to shop alone either. Friends were a huge asset in this endeavor. They assisted with choosing clothes to take to the dressing room as well as giving honest opinions regarding how the apparel looked. It was difficult to make these judgments by myself and not nearly as fun.

That being said, while shopping is still on my top ten list, it’s dropped in its ratings over the last few years. These days, when a friend suggests a few hours or a day of shopping, I frequently think, “Ugh. That sounds like work...hunting for and trying on clothes, spending money I don’t need to spend when there are so many other things I should be doing.” My husband seems to relish this new attitude of mine. What has happened to the woman who would literally jump at the chance to shop, plan shopping adventures and loved to look for new clothes?

Simply said, it’s my season of life. Between the five of us (six, if you count our dog) who need stuff and a household that needs stuff, I’ve had my fill of shopping. You know what I mean. Every time I turn around, I’m back at the grocery store piling food in the cart. Why do these people eat so much? And, why is it that someone in the family tells me that he is out of toothpaste right after I’ve just done the Target trip to get various other supplies? In addition, I always seem to have to head to that specialty store for some odd item that isn’t in stock at any other store on my regular weekly route.

Recently, Nick left a note requesting me to purchase a yellow polo shirt for a video that the youth choir was creating the next day. This is my role now; I’m a buyer of stuff on demand. I had no intentions of cruising to the mall the next day, but I made plans to hightail it there. In very uncharacteristic fashion for any woman, I marched in to the first store, saw a yellow polo shirt hanging nonchalantly and without further ado, bought it. Astounding! In days gone by, I would’ve never purchased the first yellow polo shirt I beheld. In order to be absolutely certain that it was the perfect yellow polo shirt, I would’ve scoured every store in the mall before acquiring anything. After all, how will I know if it’s the best shirt in all of polo-land if I don’t peruse every single one of them? That day I disclosed to my husband that he should be proud of me for walking in and out of the mall with the desired prize in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even succumb to the saleslady’s pitch for the 1.99 earrings or two shirts for $20.

I suppose I’ve lost the shopping mood with all the required monotonous buying I must do on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. Even this past weekend as I was examining the Macy’s “one day…lowest prices of the season” ads, I was apathetic. Basically, I didn’t feel like running one more place, doing one more thing. The $29.99 capri sale just couldn’t entice me to venture out.

In recent years I’ve discovered that while friends are fun to browse with, I find it challenging to seriously shop. During shopping events with friends, I somehow feel responsible for my friends’ happiness. Are they enjoying themselves? Would they rather be in the shoe department instead of with me in the jewelry section? Are they ready to move on to a different store? Do they even want to shop in this particular store? It’s so stressful that I can’t even think about trying on clothes for which I’m sure they don’t have the patience.

My solution is simple. I’ve begun to engage in two types of shopping. By myself, I power shop; it’s all about purchasing the items on my list quickly. If I don’t have time to don a bunch of clothes, I buy them, try them on at home and return the ones that aren’t going to work. When I make a date to shop with friends, I browse, enjoy coffee or lunch and don’t worry about whether I buy anything because this trip is all about hanging out and enjoying my friendships. In distinguishing between these two different kinds of shopping, I alleviate the stress that I seem to pile on myself. I reserve the hunt for clothes and various other list items for shopping alone, and my leisurely browsing…break for coffee…shop…break for lunch…shop…for those fun-filled hours with friends. During these times, if I don’t buy anything, it’s perfectly alright because the purpose was simply to enjoy browsing the stores and spend time with friends.

Maybe you’ve already figured this one out. It doesn’t surprise me that it takes this blonde, almost 44 year old brain to discover these amazing truths. If you ever see me by myself with list in hand, you’ll know that I’m on a mission.