Love Deeply

I am cheating today and posting an article I wrote for our women's newsletter entitled Divine Lines. This is written by several women in our church and published every other month. You can access the entire newsletter at SOCC.

Love Deeply

I was standing in Kohl’s waiting an eon for Maddie to choose a toy with the gift card she had received for Christmas when my cell phone beeped. Opening it, I noticed that my mom had sent me a text message. After 20 minutes, I sent her one back. Yep, that’s how long it took me to figure out that texting thing. I am a completely anti-techy woman from the electronic typewriter age. Frankly, it astounded me that my mom actually knew how to do this. Turns out, she had a couple of teenagers coaching her through the process. Suffice it to say, when my mom texted me back, I ignored the message. It would’ve been quicker for me to call her.

We live in a fast-paced society, and we have created devices in our world that compliment that lifestyle. I don’t have to physically talk to anyone in order to have a relationship with them, however shallow it is. In order to save time, I can email or text. I can get a Facebook or My Space account to maintain contact with friends all around the world. Because of cell phones, we are accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We carry all sorts of contacts in our phone lists and email lists, yet how many of those are close relationships? We are in such a hurry most of the time that we are only making surface connections with people. I wonder how many people are truly longing for a good friend, someone who will take the time to build a deeper relationship.

In a Beth Moore study I took recently, she stated in one of her videos that we have ceased to practice deep relationships. It’s true. We are more reachable than ever before, yet we are also lonelier. How can that be with all the noise that surrounds us? Peter challenges us in 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Our culture teaches us to love superficially and to work toward self-reliance; however, the Bible clearly contradicts this idea.

The word “love” in this verse is that of the love of Christians toward other Christians. We are to show affection and goodwill towards our fellow believers. Beth Moore says that we need to learn to fight for each other instead of with each other. Too often we backbite, gossip and tear down instead of building each other up. We need to have unity in the midst of our diversity.

“Deeply” or the word “fervent”, as it is used in the King James Version, means strained or stretched. Picture an athlete reaching for the finish line or goal line, stretching out across it. Our love for one another is to be demonstrated intently, earnestly. Emails and texts can’t quite capture this kind of love. This takes time and effort, being intentional. This kind of love goes the distance; it stands the test of time; it gets into the ugly stuff.

What ugly stuff? Our sin, of course! Love “covers” (hides) over a “multitude” (a great number, bundle) of “sins” (that which is done wrong, offences). When I love fervently, I will forgive offenses against me rather than intensify them and gossip about them. I will error on the side of mercy rather than hold grudges. I will cover over and conceal the sins of others rather than spread them to the masses. I love Beth Moore’s statement that we must grace others because we ourselves have been graced. When we don’t love deeply; when we keep track of what others have done to us; when we fight with our fellow believers, the enemy is outwitting us. It’s his mission to sidetrack us in our desire to reflect Christ’s love to those around us in meaningful ways. We need to wise up to Satan’s schemes and foil his attempts at successfully sidetracking us by doing some tangible things to intentionally love those around us.

First, if you have many acquaintances but no close friends, think of someone with whom you would like to connect more deeply. Plan a time to meet with them over coffee or lunch. Several years ago I invited a woman over to my house for lunch to get to know her better, and now I can’t imagine not having her friendship in my life. We have become great friends and purposefully arrange time together on a regular basis.

Another way to begin to reflect His love more deeply is by becoming an encourager. We never know how or when our words will bring life to someone who is down or discouraged. Too often we concentrate on the negative, especially within our own families, instead of looking for the positive. I want to be a glass half full (or maybe even spilling over) kind of girl, the kind of person others gravitate to because of my kind words. Let’s overlook everyone’s multitude of faults and idiosyncrasies and look for the good instead. Perhaps, as we do this, they’ll choose not to see all our wrongs! Infuse someone with courage in the words that you speak over their life. Our words have the power to bring life or death to someone. Be a life-giver!

Also, be a note-giver! Every once in awhile I come across a card I’ve saved from a friend or my husband, and it brings a smile to my face once again. These notes remind me of how special they think I am, how valuable our friendship is; how much they love me. When I was dating my husband, I sent cards to him several times a week since we lived an hour and a half away from each other. They were full of loving words and encouragement. How often have I written these notes after we were married? Embarrassingly, I’ve composed some loving thoughts only a couple of times a year at special occasions. It’s not because I don’t believe he needs them anymore; mostly, it’s sheer laziness. As Beth Moore says, “I think notes constantly.” I could open my own Hallmark store with all the cards I have stockpiled to send to friends and to give to my husband. Unfortunately, they aren’t quite as effective sitting lonely in a drawer. My challenge to you and me is to spend a few minutes writing a special note to a friend, family member or your spouse expressing your love to them. Your words could have a huge impact on them and quite possibly arrive at a God-appointed time in their lives.

In a world that loves superficially and promotes self-reliance, let’s be different. Let’s love deeply, be grace-givers and bring life to those around us.