Last night, Maddie enjoyed some daddy and me time while the rest of the family was at various activities. They watched the thunderstorm on the deck while Maddie danced around in her bathing suit. They ate dinner together and read Bible stories. T-h-e-n, they played Yahtzee, Maddie's new favorite fun game. A curious phenomenon happened...Daddy fell asleep in the middle of playing the game. I'm told this occurred while Maddie was attempting to add her score on the dice. I asked Tony, "How can you fall asleep playing a game?" While Maddie is prodding her dad to "wake up", he responds by telling her that he's going to need a catnap after Yahtzee is over. Yeah, like he didn't just get one.
My husband has some serious sleep issues. This is a guy who awakens at 4 am and can't beg, borrow or steal sleep, which contributes to his catnapping throughout the day. Thus, he's been caught with his eyes shut in the middle of reading to his daughter, occasionally at work and while I am conversing with him (actually it's more of a one-way conversation). I have taken offense to this numerous times although Tony assures me that my voice is just so soothing that his eyes close. Yeah, right! That's just his nice way of saying that I'm boring! Ok, so perhaps I can believe that I might occasionally 'cause a person's eyes to glaze over, but at least I haven't caused the death of someone by my talking on and on as Paul did when Eutychus snoozed during Paul's sermon and fell out a 3rd story window.
Anyhoo, I'm still quite amazed at this Yahtzee sleep tale. Picture with me: Maddie shaking her dice in the red cup, quite loudly, spilling it out onto the table, quite loudly, and Tony sawing logs in the chair beside her. Picture again: Silence, absolute quiet, no disturbances and insomnia at 4 am. Absolute conundrum.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Calendar Quotes
"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." Many times, this is how my house gets clean...at the last minute.
"God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die." I'm thinking I'd rather be raptured in the middle of doing some of this stuff!
"God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die." I'm thinking I'd rather be raptured in the middle of doing some of this stuff!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
When Life is Faster Than a Speeding Bullet
"Busy, Busy dreadfully busy
You've no idea what I have to do
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you" (Veggie Tales song)
This has been my mantra for the last week; hence, no time to even write a blog entry! With 3
tennis matches, 2 football "cheer" games, kids' choir and 4 gymnastic practices, I had to remind
myself to breathe. I'm pooped, and I didn't even ace a serve, perform a stunt, sing a note or soar
over the vault table. I'm serious, this taxi-driving takes its toll on a person's body not to mention
your mind. There's some complicated pondering before driving that takes place.
For example, one must determine the best order in which to drop off and pick up children and how at times to be in two places at once. I can't even begin to tell how many times one child calls to say they are ready to be picked up from a practice, and I have to tell them to wait 30 minutes. I can hear the frustration on the other end of the line. My response, "I'm sorry, there is only one of me driving here, so if you can get a ride home, that'd be great!"
I think I'm beginning to understand why I took all that complicated math in high school...so I had the ability to calculate the fastest routes through the city. I know all the shortcuts from the gymnastics club to South, Jackson Creek and Kroger. I can maneuver the back routes to Wal-Mart for a quick shopping trip if need be. (Aside: as a rule of thumb, I really try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs.) I apologize to all of you Wal-Marters...I happen to prefer Target. It's a much happier place.
Needless to say, I believe I'm in a hurry much of my day. A friend of mine would diagnose my condition as "hurry sickness". Well, at this particular time in my life, she is absolutely correct. With 3 active children, only allowed in one sport each, but with a myriad of school and church activities, how can I not be driving myself crazy? I have to force myself to s...l...o...w d...o...w...n. I need to take time to bask in God's presence and be refreshed by His Word. Otherwise, I begin to go into "survival" mode and feel this ominous sense that this hurry-crazed life is going to overwhelm me and bury me.
When I inhale His words of life to me and ask for His Holy Spirit to fill me to the brim, I am renewed. I can actually prioritize my day better and ask Him to order my steps. Sure, I stillhave to tote those kids everywhere, but my perspective is much better. I look at my "to do" list and realize that the items not crossed off can wait. I'd rather be watching Nick play tennis, Alix throw her back tuck during cheer and Maddie do her back handspring on the floor. I'd rather spend time at an IU Football game with my husband even if they are trampled by the opposing team. I'd rather actually sit down and view the Colts game with my family instead of looking at snippets as I work in the kitchen. So, these are the activities I enjoyed in this crazy, whirlwind of a week.
In the middle of some wild, behind the wheel maneuvering to get across town (sorry if I cut you off), there was rest and delight as I had the great privilege of beholding the greatest treasures God has ever given me using the gifts that God has given them. What joy fills my soul.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Warning: Kindergarten Leads to Graduation
A few days ago I was setting up some new files for my kids' school papers...you know the papers that are so special that you need to keep them forever? As I was writing one particular file label, "Nick-11th grade", my mind flashbacked to a time about 11 years ago to my house in Washington where I began this paper-collecting. I had begun at that time to save EVERY paper my children brought home from school. By the time Nick was in 1st grade, three large cardboard boxes were stacked in my laundry room on top of the extra refrigerator. As I calculated the math, I realized that by the time Nick was out of high school, I would have more than 12 boxes of a menagerie of art work, math and language papers as well as other assortments of intelligent school work he had completed. Let's see...12 boxes times 3 children equals...36 boxes of very important yet space consuming objects. I would have to eventually sell furniture and use the boxes to sit on. Realizing that this was totally impractical, I decided that perhaps it would be just as meaningful to save a few papers throughout the year, deposit them in a file and then load all those files (36 or more) into one box. Much better idea!
That being said, I was dumbfounded as I wrote those words, "Nick-11th grade" across the top. How could that possibly be? He was just in Kindergarten yesterday, wasn't he? Only two more short years and no more file labels for Nick. I seriously doubt he'll donate his college papers for his sappy mother's files. Tears threatened to break open down my face as I realized that I am nearing the end of a season of life with one of my children.
How I long to slow down these days that seem to rush headlong into a week and then a month before I can blink. I want to savor the moments I have with Nick, like the lunch we had together, just he and I, after a doctor's appointment yesterday. These duet moments happen so infrequently now, but when they are available, I desire to snatch them up greedily as if I were hoarding the last piece of dark chocolate! My attention is fixed solely on him when no one else is clamoring for a piece of me. Nick feels less inhibited to share when his other siblings aren't present to listen to the conversation. Oh, if only life would run in slow motion these next two years; however, I have this sneaking suspicion it'll feel more like a thundering locomotive intent on reaching it's destination.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Choosing to Forgive
This past weekend, 14 wild and worn-out women, weaved our way to Nashville, Tennessee to attend a "Deeper Still" conference with teaching by the infamous Beth Moore, Priscilla Evans Shirer and Kay Arthur. The icing on the cake was hearing American Idol singer, Mandisa. She was powerful in song, bold in her testimony, convicting regarding her forgiveness of Simon who openly criticized her weight on national television. It was a testimony of huge proportions to hear Mandisa share that while many had urged her to "let Simon have it" on national television, she chose to forgive him in the presence of millions of viewers. How powerful! How greatly that goes against the grain of what this world teaches humanity to do. While they chant "revenge"; Mandisa shocks the world with three words, "I forgive you".
By letting Simon off her hook and not retaliating, she is not forgetting what He said, but rather she is giving it to God and allowing Him to take care of it. She is choosing not to allow bitterness and resentment to take residence in her heart. I remember watching Simon's face on television the night Mandisa told him that she forgave his offense. He was speechless. The world does not understand this grace of forgiveness. It's a foreign idea to the reigning thought that one should retaliate, seek revenge and "give it to 'em with both barrels". I'm sure Simon fully expected to get his due because this is exactly the kind of stuff that boosts those television ratings. However, what Simon received is not what he deserved; he got grace, the same kind Jesus extended to us when He died on the cross for every past, present and future infraction we would ever commit against Him. It's the same exact forgiveness Christ offered to all of humanity, that none of us deserve.
Mandisa simply did what all of us are called to do as followers of Christ...forgive! Colossians 3:13 states, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." No room for arguments or excuses here. This is a command. God forgives you; you forgive others. Simple words, but difficult to execute. How did Mandisa do this? How do we do this?
At the risk of sounding trite, let me say that we can only do this with God's help. Several years ago, a major offense was committed against me. I had every "right" to be angry, seek revenge and harbor bitter feelings toward the individual who sinned against me according to the world's standards. But being a Christ-follower, I had set aside those so-called "rights" to get even, to be unforgiving, to hang onto my anger. Let me tell you that my choice to forgive this person had nothing to do with my feelings or my forgetting of the offense. Frankly, I was scared to death that if I didn't forgive, my heavenly Father would not forgive me, and I knew that I was the greater offender.
Feelings are fickle at best. I cannot live relying on my feelings which change about a million times throughout the day. Just take my marriage relationship, for example. One minute I'm feeling mushy-gushy just thinking about my husband, but he could walk in late from work, and suddenly I'm hacked off at him. You know what I'm talking about! I'm committed to loving him no matter what I feel about him at any particular moment. Same thing with forgiveness. I didn't feel like forgiving, but as a committed Christian, I chose to extend it regardless. And what about the forgetting aspect? Oh, I haven't forgotten what happened. Somehow, we think that forgiveness means we forget what happened, that the person won't "pay" for what they did to us. Certainly not! It means that we choose not to allow their offenses to enslave us; it means that we are letting them off our hook...but God still holds them accountable for their actions. This gives me so much freedom...freedom from guilt and bitterness and freedom to live the life that Christ has called me to.
I think about Mandisa and how her actions in forgiving Simon shocked a world who is so counterculture to Christ-like values. Oh, that more of us would send mind-blowing messages like this to the people Christ puts in our paths. Just as Christ's forgiveness has transformed our lives; may the forgiveness we offer our family and friends draw them to the Christ whom we claim to belong!
By letting Simon off her hook and not retaliating, she is not forgetting what He said, but rather she is giving it to God and allowing Him to take care of it. She is choosing not to allow bitterness and resentment to take residence in her heart. I remember watching Simon's face on television the night Mandisa told him that she forgave his offense. He was speechless. The world does not understand this grace of forgiveness. It's a foreign idea to the reigning thought that one should retaliate, seek revenge and "give it to 'em with both barrels". I'm sure Simon fully expected to get his due because this is exactly the kind of stuff that boosts those television ratings. However, what Simon received is not what he deserved; he got grace, the same kind Jesus extended to us when He died on the cross for every past, present and future infraction we would ever commit against Him. It's the same exact forgiveness Christ offered to all of humanity, that none of us deserve.
Mandisa simply did what all of us are called to do as followers of Christ...forgive! Colossians 3:13 states, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." No room for arguments or excuses here. This is a command. God forgives you; you forgive others. Simple words, but difficult to execute. How did Mandisa do this? How do we do this?
At the risk of sounding trite, let me say that we can only do this with God's help. Several years ago, a major offense was committed against me. I had every "right" to be angry, seek revenge and harbor bitter feelings toward the individual who sinned against me according to the world's standards. But being a Christ-follower, I had set aside those so-called "rights" to get even, to be unforgiving, to hang onto my anger. Let me tell you that my choice to forgive this person had nothing to do with my feelings or my forgetting of the offense. Frankly, I was scared to death that if I didn't forgive, my heavenly Father would not forgive me, and I knew that I was the greater offender.
Feelings are fickle at best. I cannot live relying on my feelings which change about a million times throughout the day. Just take my marriage relationship, for example. One minute I'm feeling mushy-gushy just thinking about my husband, but he could walk in late from work, and suddenly I'm hacked off at him. You know what I'm talking about! I'm committed to loving him no matter what I feel about him at any particular moment. Same thing with forgiveness. I didn't feel like forgiving, but as a committed Christian, I chose to extend it regardless. And what about the forgetting aspect? Oh, I haven't forgotten what happened. Somehow, we think that forgiveness means we forget what happened, that the person won't "pay" for what they did to us. Certainly not! It means that we choose not to allow their offenses to enslave us; it means that we are letting them off our hook...but God still holds them accountable for their actions. This gives me so much freedom...freedom from guilt and bitterness and freedom to live the life that Christ has called me to.
I think about Mandisa and how her actions in forgiving Simon shocked a world who is so counterculture to Christ-like values. Oh, that more of us would send mind-blowing messages like this to the people Christ puts in our paths. Just as Christ's forgiveness has transformed our lives; may the forgiveness we offer our family and friends draw them to the Christ whom we claim to belong!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
More Maddie
This evening at dinner, Maddie shared, "Did you know that you can eat on the bus? On the way home, I shared my lunch with my friend." This is because her friends actually eat their lunch at school. My daughter chooses to talk and get to recess more quickly so that she must eat on the way home. Tony and I asked her which friend she gave some of her food to. "I don't remember her name." My husband and I glanced at each other because this is an ongoing problem with her of not remembering her friends' names. Noticing our looks, she said, "What? You know I never remember people's names!"
We howled because this is her father's trait...forgetting people's names.
We howled because this is her father's trait...forgetting people's names.
The New Neighbors
We have lived in the same neighborhood for the past 6 years, a small cul-de-sac of only six houses and really nice people. Over the past couple of years, 3 of these houses have changed hands, replaced by a strange, eclectic group of people. I tell you, I don't like it! I want my old, friendly, normal neighbors back. We all liked each other, stopped to talk through our car windows on the street, wandered over to each other's houses if we saw one another outside. Our neighbor, Jeff, next door would offer great advice about lawn care and planting trees or flowers. We went to his daughter's graduation from high school, her wedding two years later and then his son's graduation. We had become family. Then, they decided to build another house closer to the lake much to our dismay.
I knew we were in deep trouble when Jeff began describing the negotiations to sell their home with someone from the East coast. This guy sounded like a troublemaker; a cold, unfriendly, unreasonable dude. I wished for the deal to fall through, but alas, it didn't happen. This family moved in, a dad and his two teenage children. Being the good neighbor that I am, I baked 3 batches of brownies for this family. Why 3 batches? Well, I'm glad you asked. Because, the first batch, a new recipe, Maddie would not even eat. I couldn't serve those. Our dog, Bella, liked them, however. The second batch burned. The 3rd was scrumptious, but when we tried to deliver them, the family was never home. So, I put them in the freezer to be delivered after our return from our vacation to Seattle.
After thawing these yummy, frosted brownies, they sat on my counter for days. This family was never home. I didn't see them outside in the yard...ever! I finally just threw out the brownies and trashed my nice "welcome" card. One day, we saw the two kids next door riding bikes. This was my chance to finally meet them and show them how much I cared. After all, I had heard through the grapevine that their mom was dead. How awful! I could be a loving, nurturing woman next door to be there if they needed me. I had visions of being a second mom to these poor, neglected children until we were introduced. I met one polite 14 year old boy and one invasive, nosy 12 year old girl who has since permanently attached herself to my 6-year-old.
Danielle is over at our house the minute after we drive into the garage, ringing the doorbell for Maddie to ride bikes, play Barbie's or search for our other neighbor's dog wandering the neighborhood (another great story). Why does a teenager want to play with a 1st grader, anyway? She's even borrowed Maddie's Barbie's to give them makeovers. Weird! Danielle is an assertive little girl who's definitely also majoring in manipulation. "Mrs. Stonger, I hope I'm not bothering you guys too much. Tell me if I'm being a pest." Don't worry, I will!
I've been concerned about her influence on Maddie. My goodness, they were downstairs playing with the Barbie's, pretending they were rich and could buy anything they wanted. My overprotective self went into gear. "Whose idea was that, Maddie?" "Danielle's." I'm getting my ammunition ready so I can have a talk with this worldly girl who is influencing my little daughter. "Ok, so whose idea was it to play 'boyfriends' with the Barbie's?" "Mine," pipes Maddie. Darn it...must be the High School Musical 2. Time to cut out Disney shows.
It's interesting to me that this 7th grade girl has not connected with my 8th grade daughter. Alix is sweet, kind and has absolutely nothing in common with Danielle. And, she doesn't play with Barbie's anymore! I'm still trying to figure it all out...the dynamics of these relationships. Maddie, at 6, will play with anyone who gives her the time of day, not to mention that she's home more often than my gymnast, cheerleader daughter. Danielle wants friends; Alix has friends. Then, I discover that Danielle's mom is not deceased but rather is divorced from her dad. And, she's not allowed to have contact with her. This perhaps explains some of Danielle's querks. She is longing for attention and acceptance. Perhaps, she tells me that she doesn't want to be a pest to anybody because she's been told that she is one.
Because of some of Danielle's influence on Maddie, I've had numerous teaching moments with Maddie to "think for yourself." "What does that mean?" she asks me. "It means that if Danielle suggests something, and it is not something mommy and daddy would want you to do, you 'think for yourself' and you tell her you can't do it because it's not right." Believe me, we've already encountered this several times!
I'm truly torn. I want to reach out to this girl that needs to be loved and accepted, but I want my privacy too. My life is too busy to invest into an "egr" (extra-grace required) person. Unfortunately, I believe God is telling me to take the time, invest some love and see what He might do. My nice, little cozy world with my non-needy, hospitable, kind neighbors has been shaken up. While I wouldn't have voted this family into the neighborhood, God surely place them next door for a reason. He is doing something here, and I'm not sure I appreciate it. The message is blaring in my heart loud and clear. "Love your neighbor."
I knew we were in deep trouble when Jeff began describing the negotiations to sell their home with someone from the East coast. This guy sounded like a troublemaker; a cold, unfriendly, unreasonable dude. I wished for the deal to fall through, but alas, it didn't happen. This family moved in, a dad and his two teenage children. Being the good neighbor that I am, I baked 3 batches of brownies for this family. Why 3 batches? Well, I'm glad you asked. Because, the first batch, a new recipe, Maddie would not even eat. I couldn't serve those. Our dog, Bella, liked them, however. The second batch burned. The 3rd was scrumptious, but when we tried to deliver them, the family was never home. So, I put them in the freezer to be delivered after our return from our vacation to Seattle.
After thawing these yummy, frosted brownies, they sat on my counter for days. This family was never home. I didn't see them outside in the yard...ever! I finally just threw out the brownies and trashed my nice "welcome" card. One day, we saw the two kids next door riding bikes. This was my chance to finally meet them and show them how much I cared. After all, I had heard through the grapevine that their mom was dead. How awful! I could be a loving, nurturing woman next door to be there if they needed me. I had visions of being a second mom to these poor, neglected children until we were introduced. I met one polite 14 year old boy and one invasive, nosy 12 year old girl who has since permanently attached herself to my 6-year-old.
Danielle is over at our house the minute after we drive into the garage, ringing the doorbell for Maddie to ride bikes, play Barbie's or search for our other neighbor's dog wandering the neighborhood (another great story). Why does a teenager want to play with a 1st grader, anyway? She's even borrowed Maddie's Barbie's to give them makeovers. Weird! Danielle is an assertive little girl who's definitely also majoring in manipulation. "Mrs. Stonger, I hope I'm not bothering you guys too much. Tell me if I'm being a pest." Don't worry, I will!
I've been concerned about her influence on Maddie. My goodness, they were downstairs playing with the Barbie's, pretending they were rich and could buy anything they wanted. My overprotective self went into gear. "Whose idea was that, Maddie?" "Danielle's." I'm getting my ammunition ready so I can have a talk with this worldly girl who is influencing my little daughter. "Ok, so whose idea was it to play 'boyfriends' with the Barbie's?" "Mine," pipes Maddie. Darn it...must be the High School Musical 2. Time to cut out Disney shows.
It's interesting to me that this 7th grade girl has not connected with my 8th grade daughter. Alix is sweet, kind and has absolutely nothing in common with Danielle. And, she doesn't play with Barbie's anymore! I'm still trying to figure it all out...the dynamics of these relationships. Maddie, at 6, will play with anyone who gives her the time of day, not to mention that she's home more often than my gymnast, cheerleader daughter. Danielle wants friends; Alix has friends. Then, I discover that Danielle's mom is not deceased but rather is divorced from her dad. And, she's not allowed to have contact with her. This perhaps explains some of Danielle's querks. She is longing for attention and acceptance. Perhaps, she tells me that she doesn't want to be a pest to anybody because she's been told that she is one.
Because of some of Danielle's influence on Maddie, I've had numerous teaching moments with Maddie to "think for yourself." "What does that mean?" she asks me. "It means that if Danielle suggests something, and it is not something mommy and daddy would want you to do, you 'think for yourself' and you tell her you can't do it because it's not right." Believe me, we've already encountered this several times!
I'm truly torn. I want to reach out to this girl that needs to be loved and accepted, but I want my privacy too. My life is too busy to invest into an "egr" (extra-grace required) person. Unfortunately, I believe God is telling me to take the time, invest some love and see what He might do. My nice, little cozy world with my non-needy, hospitable, kind neighbors has been shaken up. While I wouldn't have voted this family into the neighborhood, God surely place them next door for a reason. He is doing something here, and I'm not sure I appreciate it. The message is blaring in my heart loud and clear. "Love your neighbor."
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