Saturday, March 29, 2008
Elizabeth Bennet...My Heroine!
I suppose this is a fairly accurate description of me...(You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Confessions From a Former Shopoholic
I am a former shopoholic. Up until a few years ago, shopping was one of my favorite pastimes. Whether simply browsing or partaking in some serious purchasing, visiting the mall belonged near the top of my top ten list of “Favorite Activities”. I didn’t desire to shop alone either. Friends were a huge asset in this endeavor. They assisted with choosing clothes to take to the dressing room as well as giving honest opinions regarding how the apparel looked. It was difficult to make these judgments by myself and not nearly as fun.
That being said, while shopping is still on my top ten list, it’s dropped in its ratings over the last few years. These days, when a friend suggests a few hours or a day of shopping, I frequently think, “Ugh. That sounds like work...hunting for and trying on clothes, spending money I don’t need to spend when there are so many other things I should be doing.” My husband seems to relish this new attitude of mine. What has happened to the woman who would literally jump at the chance to shop, plan shopping adventures and loved to look for new clothes?
Simply said, it’s my season of life. Between the five of us (six, if you count our dog) who need stuff and a household that needs stuff, I’ve had my fill of shopping. You know what I mean. Every time I turn around, I’m back at the grocery store piling food in the cart. Why do these people eat so much? And, why is it that someone in the family tells me that he is out of toothpaste right after I’ve just done the Target trip to get various other supplies? In addition, I always seem to have to head to that specialty store for some odd item that isn’t in stock at any other store on my regular weekly route.
Recently, Nick left a note requesting me to purchase a yellow polo shirt for a video that the youth choir was creating the next day. This is my role now; I’m a buyer of stuff on demand. I had no intentions of cruising to the mall the next day, but I made plans to hightail it there. In very uncharacteristic fashion for any woman, I marched in to the first store, saw a yellow polo shirt hanging nonchalantly and without further ado, bought it. Astounding! In days gone by, I would’ve never purchased the first yellow polo shirt I beheld. In order to be absolutely certain that it was the perfect yellow polo shirt, I would’ve scoured every store in the mall before acquiring anything. After all, how will I know if it’s the best shirt in all of polo-land if I don’t peruse every single one of them? That day I disclosed to my husband that he should be proud of me for walking in and out of the mall with the desired prize in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even succumb to the saleslady’s pitch for the 1.99 earrings or two shirts for $20.
I suppose I’ve lost the shopping mood with all the required monotonous buying I must do on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. Even this past weekend as I was examining the Macy’s “one day…lowest prices of the season” ads, I was apathetic. Basically, I didn’t feel like running one more place, doing one more thing. The $29.99 capri sale just couldn’t entice me to venture out.
In recent years I’ve discovered that while friends are fun to browse with, I find it challenging to seriously shop. During shopping events with friends, I somehow feel responsible for my friends’ happiness. Are they enjoying themselves? Would they rather be in the shoe department instead of with me in the jewelry section? Are they ready to move on to a different store? Do they even want to shop in this particular store? It’s so stressful that I can’t even think about trying on clothes for which I’m sure they don’t have the patience.
My solution is simple. I’ve begun to engage in two types of shopping. By myself, I power shop; it’s all about purchasing the items on my list quickly. If I don’t have time to don a bunch of clothes, I buy them, try them on at home and return the ones that aren’t going to work. When I make a date to shop with friends, I browse, enjoy coffee or lunch and don’t worry about whether I buy anything because this trip is all about hanging out and enjoying my friendships. In distinguishing between these two different kinds of shopping, I alleviate the stress that I seem to pile on myself. I reserve the hunt for clothes and various other list items for shopping alone, and my leisurely browsing…break for coffee…shop…break for lunch…shop…for those fun-filled hours with friends. During these times, if I don’t buy anything, it’s perfectly alright because the purpose was simply to enjoy browsing the stores and spend time with friends.
Maybe you’ve already figured this one out. It doesn’t surprise me that it takes this blonde, almost 44 year old brain to discover these amazing truths. If you ever see me by myself with list in hand, you’ll know that I’m on a mission.
That being said, while shopping is still on my top ten list, it’s dropped in its ratings over the last few years. These days, when a friend suggests a few hours or a day of shopping, I frequently think, “Ugh. That sounds like work...hunting for and trying on clothes, spending money I don’t need to spend when there are so many other things I should be doing.” My husband seems to relish this new attitude of mine. What has happened to the woman who would literally jump at the chance to shop, plan shopping adventures and loved to look for new clothes?
Simply said, it’s my season of life. Between the five of us (six, if you count our dog) who need stuff and a household that needs stuff, I’ve had my fill of shopping. You know what I mean. Every time I turn around, I’m back at the grocery store piling food in the cart. Why do these people eat so much? And, why is it that someone in the family tells me that he is out of toothpaste right after I’ve just done the Target trip to get various other supplies? In addition, I always seem to have to head to that specialty store for some odd item that isn’t in stock at any other store on my regular weekly route.
Recently, Nick left a note requesting me to purchase a yellow polo shirt for a video that the youth choir was creating the next day. This is my role now; I’m a buyer of stuff on demand. I had no intentions of cruising to the mall the next day, but I made plans to hightail it there. In very uncharacteristic fashion for any woman, I marched in to the first store, saw a yellow polo shirt hanging nonchalantly and without further ado, bought it. Astounding! In days gone by, I would’ve never purchased the first yellow polo shirt I beheld. In order to be absolutely certain that it was the perfect yellow polo shirt, I would’ve scoured every store in the mall before acquiring anything. After all, how will I know if it’s the best shirt in all of polo-land if I don’t peruse every single one of them? That day I disclosed to my husband that he should be proud of me for walking in and out of the mall with the desired prize in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even succumb to the saleslady’s pitch for the 1.99 earrings or two shirts for $20.
I suppose I’ve lost the shopping mood with all the required monotonous buying I must do on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. Even this past weekend as I was examining the Macy’s “one day…lowest prices of the season” ads, I was apathetic. Basically, I didn’t feel like running one more place, doing one more thing. The $29.99 capri sale just couldn’t entice me to venture out.
In recent years I’ve discovered that while friends are fun to browse with, I find it challenging to seriously shop. During shopping events with friends, I somehow feel responsible for my friends’ happiness. Are they enjoying themselves? Would they rather be in the shoe department instead of with me in the jewelry section? Are they ready to move on to a different store? Do they even want to shop in this particular store? It’s so stressful that I can’t even think about trying on clothes for which I’m sure they don’t have the patience.
My solution is simple. I’ve begun to engage in two types of shopping. By myself, I power shop; it’s all about purchasing the items on my list quickly. If I don’t have time to don a bunch of clothes, I buy them, try them on at home and return the ones that aren’t going to work. When I make a date to shop with friends, I browse, enjoy coffee or lunch and don’t worry about whether I buy anything because this trip is all about hanging out and enjoying my friendships. In distinguishing between these two different kinds of shopping, I alleviate the stress that I seem to pile on myself. I reserve the hunt for clothes and various other list items for shopping alone, and my leisurely browsing…break for coffee…shop…break for lunch…shop…for those fun-filled hours with friends. During these times, if I don’t buy anything, it’s perfectly alright because the purpose was simply to enjoy browsing the stores and spend time with friends.
Maybe you’ve already figured this one out. It doesn’t surprise me that it takes this blonde, almost 44 year old brain to discover these amazing truths. If you ever see me by myself with list in hand, you’ll know that I’m on a mission.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Girl With the Indoor Blood-Curdling Scream
Fourteen years ago today, Alix graced our lives with her presence. What a beautiful little girl she was with a full head of dark hair that jetted straight up all over. She's still all that today except for trading in that dark stuff for an incredible amount of thick gorgeous blond laying down her back. She has the kind of hair people wish they were born with, even me!
If I thought my first born was a dream baby, Alix was a phenomenon. She slept through the night at 5 weeks old, soothed herself with her thumb at just weeks old and when she was old enough walk, never wandered from my side when shopping. In fact, she didn't even care about walking until about 15 months old. Alix learned at a very young age to content herself with letting Nick talk for her. Even when people she knew fairly well asked her questions, she looked to Nick to supply the answers...and he was completely willing to comply. Her thumb was her most treasured asset and went instantaneously into her mouth whenever Alix was presented with an uncomfortable situation.
Alix is truly one amazing girl. She's a straight A student with a blond brain to boot, highly self-disciplined, self-motivated girl in sports and school and sweet personality that desires to please others. Her social life is busy; her boyfriends last for two weeks; her stubbornness is like a mule! Her laugh is contagious and fun; her loyalty to her friends is admirable; her values and morality stand firm and independent of her peers. As a parent, I've learned much from having a daughter like Alix. While she's not like me in so many ways, I've grown to appreciate her personality.
Many times I've wondered if something was wrong with her because of her inability or lack of desire to express her feelings. After all, doesn't EVERYBODY want to share their every thought, feeling and opinion like me? That's what girls do, right? I've learned differently over these 14 years. My mom and sister have had a lot to do with my education on this matter. My younger sister happens to be much like Alix. Imagine having a talkative, emotional, opinionated, tell-all daughter (me) and when second born sissy comes along, she's LOUD, her voice carries, BUT she reveals no details about her personal life, keeps her opinions to herself and doesn't express her emotions to everyone. So my mom thought something was wrong with her. Over time and with my dad's help, she discovered that nothing was wrong; she was just a different person than I was...and it was ok! I remember asking my sister for advice many years ago when I was trying to process having a daughter not excited to tell me everything going on in her brain, and Tricia said, "You know what I wished mom would've done?" "No, I don't," I replied. "I just wanted her to leave me alone." Oh. Ok. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess what I've realized is that just because Alix is not telling me all doesn't mean that anything is horribly wrong. She just doesn't NEED to express it all.
And, since Alix is obedient, loves God and doesn't have a rebellious attitude, I suppose it's perfectly fine if she's not a carbon copy of her mom. And, everybody said, "Thank the Good Lord above for that!" Happy birthday to my sweet baby girl!
If I thought my first born was a dream baby, Alix was a phenomenon. She slept through the night at 5 weeks old, soothed herself with her thumb at just weeks old and when she was old enough walk, never wandered from my side when shopping. In fact, she didn't even care about walking until about 15 months old. Alix learned at a very young age to content herself with letting Nick talk for her. Even when people she knew fairly well asked her questions, she looked to Nick to supply the answers...and he was completely willing to comply. Her thumb was her most treasured asset and went instantaneously into her mouth whenever Alix was presented with an uncomfortable situation.
None of my children are quiet children. All of them had one volume early on...LOUD. My brother-in-law, Steve, used to tell Alix, "Indoor blood-curdling scream, Alix" because he thought she was so loud...until he had his own child. He has since recanted and apologized. My children's loudness was accentuated by my brother's children unusually quiet voices. Their normal voices were whispers compared to the blaring sirens blasting out of my children. Alix still has a voice that carries over mountains and prairies. The more excited she gets; the louder the volume. Consequently, she gets shushed often even now.
While Alix swished down the aisle in a beautiful white dress when Tony and I were married, she is far from that princess girl today. Somewhere down the line, she traded in dresses for t-shirts and playing make-up and dolls for competitive gymnastics. At one point, she attempted to convince me that she was a tomboy to which I had to disagree. She has always been more of an "inside" girl than an "outside" girl. She would spend hours cloistered in her room reading to her make believe class or conversing with imaginary friends. She was equally content with or without friends by her side. She disliked playing outside in the snow; it was way too cold. No, she is not a tomboy!
While Alix' volume is loud, she is my most quiet child. That may sound confusing, but what I mean by that is she keeps her emotions and feelings to herself. Alix rarely expresses what she is thinking which is challenging to a person like me, who lays it all out there whether you want it or not. Our conversations occasionally happen like this:
Me: Alix, how was your day?
Alix: Good
Me: What did you do at school?
Alix: Not much
OR
Me: What did you talk about in Sunday School?
Alix: I don't remember
Me: Surely you remember something. It was just an hour ago.
Alix: I think it was something about trust
Me: What about trust?
Alix: I'm not sure
This is frustrating for someone like me who enjoys sharing, talking and giving my opinion whether one asks for it or not. Alix is not one to offer ANY information, so I've resorted to obtaining information from her best friend's mom (who tells her mom EVERYTHING). And, I ask my daughter a lot of questions about her life. At first, she was a little peeved about this, but after a discussion about trust and parents needing to know what's going on in their daughter's life and TRUST and not getting to do anything if we don't know who her friends are and where she's going and what she's doing and TRUST...well, she began to get the picture. 
(Alix and her friend getting baptized.)
While Alix is not openly expressive with her feelings or a crybaby like me, she is extremely compassionate. While she doesn't easily cry during a sad movie, she sheds tears for others who are suffering or in pain. She hates it when others feel bad or are sad. And, although she's not a huggy or affectionate person, she always inquires about each family member if they are not home. She cares deeply about family, yet she's not overly demonstrative. I remember having to teach her early on that she should hug her parents good night rather than just disappear into her bedroom. She begrudgingly did it by backing into a hug. With her, forward hugs must not last more than a second or she is squirming out of them!
Alix (on the right) and her best friend, cheerleading
Alix has been a competitive gymnast since 4th grade and for the last two years gave cheerleading a try. While Alix is a social queen, she is not a drama queen (that would be our 7 year old). Thus, she is retiring from cheerleading, citing petty girl drama as the culprit. She loves all her friends and became nauseated at the backbiting and the general "mean girl" syndrome of some her teammates. Besides, she decided that it is definitely more fun competing in a sport than cheering for someone else's sport. Still, hands down, she was the best tumbler of the group, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. Oh, and let's just say EVERYONE could hear her cheering. Remember? Her volume is loud!
Alix is truly one amazing girl. She's a straight A student with a blond brain to boot, highly self-disciplined, self-motivated girl in sports and school and sweet personality that desires to please others. Her social life is busy; her boyfriends last for two weeks; her stubbornness is like a mule! Her laugh is contagious and fun; her loyalty to her friends is admirable; her values and morality stand firm and independent of her peers. As a parent, I've learned much from having a daughter like Alix. While she's not like me in so many ways, I've grown to appreciate her personality.
Many times I've wondered if something was wrong with her because of her inability or lack of desire to express her feelings. After all, doesn't EVERYBODY want to share their every thought, feeling and opinion like me? That's what girls do, right? I've learned differently over these 14 years. My mom and sister have had a lot to do with my education on this matter. My younger sister happens to be much like Alix. Imagine having a talkative, emotional, opinionated, tell-all daughter (me) and when second born sissy comes along, she's LOUD, her voice carries, BUT she reveals no details about her personal life, keeps her opinions to herself and doesn't express her emotions to everyone. So my mom thought something was wrong with her. Over time and with my dad's help, she discovered that nothing was wrong; she was just a different person than I was...and it was ok! I remember asking my sister for advice many years ago when I was trying to process having a daughter not excited to tell me everything going on in her brain, and Tricia said, "You know what I wished mom would've done?" "No, I don't," I replied. "I just wanted her to leave me alone." Oh. Ok. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess what I've realized is that just because Alix is not telling me all doesn't mean that anything is horribly wrong. She just doesn't NEED to express it all.
And, since Alix is obedient, loves God and doesn't have a rebellious attitude, I suppose it's perfectly fine if she's not a carbon copy of her mom. And, everybody said, "Thank the Good Lord above for that!" Happy birthday to my sweet baby girl!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Oh Where, Oh Where Have I Been?
I'm absolutely positive that readers around the world have anxiously been awaiting my next post...or not! (It's really more like 5 or so loyal friends and family that feel so obligated to read.) In case you've been wondering if I've fallen off the face of the universe, I haven't.
In the last couple of weeks, I've had to use my regular blogging time to study for the class I am co-teaching and then Spring Break arrived, and our entire family jaunted off for an educational tour of D.C. and Williamsburg, Jamestowne (English spelling) and Yorktown, Virginia. We walked our "dogs" off all over those famous places. Let me tell you, at times, our "dogs" were screaming at us to stop!
Although we arrived back in town Sunday evening and bloglife was calling to me, I had to exercise self discipline and stay away from the computer to attend to grocery shopping and dirty clothes. Yes, I did place a high priority on obtaining milk so the children could have their nutritious high sugar cereal breakfast. And, while the laundry is being washed, mounds of it just might happen to be piled a mile high on the couch screaming, "Fold me, please". Yet, here I am on the computer expressing to my oh so vast readership that I have not forgotten them.
Stay posted in the next few days for some scintillating posts and pictures about our trip as well as a post in honor of my 8th anniversary AND last but not least, a daughter who is celebrating her 14th birthday this week. Don't go away, I'll be right back....
In the last couple of weeks, I've had to use my regular blogging time to study for the class I am co-teaching and then Spring Break arrived, and our entire family jaunted off for an educational tour of D.C. and Williamsburg, Jamestowne (English spelling) and Yorktown, Virginia. We walked our "dogs" off all over those famous places. Let me tell you, at times, our "dogs" were screaming at us to stop!
Although we arrived back in town Sunday evening and bloglife was calling to me, I had to exercise self discipline and stay away from the computer to attend to grocery shopping and dirty clothes. Yes, I did place a high priority on obtaining milk so the children could have their nutritious high sugar cereal breakfast. And, while the laundry is being washed, mounds of it just might happen to be piled a mile high on the couch screaming, "Fold me, please". Yet, here I am on the computer expressing to my oh so vast readership that I have not forgotten them.
Stay posted in the next few days for some scintillating posts and pictures about our trip as well as a post in honor of my 8th anniversary AND last but not least, a daughter who is celebrating her 14th birthday this week. Don't go away, I'll be right back....
Monday, March 3, 2008
Caught With the Chocolate Calories AGAIN!
Saturday morning, Tony, Maddie and I (the only ones up at that point in the morning) were eating our pancakes and eggs while having a very interesting conversation.
Me: Maddie, what do you want to have to drink?
Maddie: I'll have water 'cause it has lots of calories.
Me: No, it doesn't.
Tony: What do you know about calories, Maddie?
Maddie: Mommy eats her calories.
Me: I do? What calories do I eat?
Maddie: Chocolate calories.
Ahhhhhh, caught again. I should know better than to think I can hide anything from that little sneak. All I can say is I inherited my deep love for chocolate calories. Dark chocolate anyone?
Me: Maddie, what do you want to have to drink?
Maddie: I'll have water 'cause it has lots of calories.
Me: No, it doesn't.
Tony: What do you know about calories, Maddie?
Maddie: Mommy eats her calories.
Me: I do? What calories do I eat?
Maddie: Chocolate calories.
Ahhhhhh, caught again. I should know better than to think I can hide anything from that little sneak. All I can say is I inherited my deep love for chocolate calories. Dark chocolate anyone?
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